One Part Woman

Book review on ''One Part Woman" by Perumal Murugan 

Rajasthan in a week

Rajasthan would easily qualify as the most colourful and exuberant state in India. We did a week’s trip covering Jaipur, Ranthambore, Jodhpur and Jaisalmer. We could not do Udaipur as it would have meant minimum 2 more days. Sharing our experiences and tips for Rajasthan travel in this blog article. May end up elaborating some places later but this here is the summary.

Our itinerary in a gist:

• Saturday evening – Air Asia flight from Bangalore to Jaipur; Check in to Umaid Bhawan Palace
• Sunday & Monday – Jaipur local sightseeing, shopping 
• Tuesday – Jaipur to Sawai Madhopur by train; Overnight stay at The Ranthambore Bagh
• Wednesday – Saw 2 tigers ! Sawai Madhopur to Jodhpur by train and check in to The Marwar Regency Hotel
• Thursday – Sight seeing at Jodhpur and overnight train to Jaisalmer
• Friday – Check in to Tokyo Palace; Local sight seeing and proceeded to Thar desert camp (KK Resorts)
• Saturday – Local sightseeing; evening cab to Jodhpur and overnight bus to Jaipur
• Sunday – Air Asia flight from Jaipur to Bangalore

Traveled in October 2015

My impressions on Rajasthan:
Rajasthan is one of the most tourist friendly states with very warm hospitality. No wonder it is high on the must visit places for foreigners. It is also a state where your days would be tightly packed with so many attractions (complete paisa vasool!). You name it, you get it – nature, history, science, wild life, art and architecture, shopping, food – and even saw pubs at Jaipur and Jodhpur!

The state has a rich history but most rulers seem to have prospered thanks to alliance with the Moghal dynasty. The alliance has been a blessing for the arts and handicrafts with a dazzling blend of Indian, Persian and Moghul art. The palaces and forts are a feast to the eyes and speak volumes. Many arts go hand in hand – jem cutting results in lot of fine powder of precious gems which are then used for those glorious paintings on walls and ceilings!

You cannot miss royalty in Rajasthan - there are still descendants of some dynasties living in private palaces in the state. While some Kings seem to have been visionaries and built amazing structures like Jantar Mantar, there is also evidence of sheer luxury and splurging by some others!

Food in Rajasthan is again a tribute to how the locals have managed in the harsh desert with what what was available, but making a royal cuisine out of it! But it takes a strong heart and stomach to eat dal bhati churma more than once a day! The desert dish Kair Sangri is another must try as are the mogra and onion kachodis in Jodhpur. 

In many forts , you can see locals playing indigenous instruments – it was awesome soulful music produced spontaneously. Ravan Hatha was one such string instrument.

Dont miss:
Jaipur – Jantar Mantar, Isarlat (a seven storied tower which was fun to climb up), City palace, Amer fort, a step well called Panna Meena Ka Kund (just backdoor to Amer fort), Jalmahal (though only outside), and of course a walk through the old Pink city. Hawa mahal is good to look from outside. We were told that Anokhi museum is good, but missed.

Jodhpur – The Umaid Bhawan palace can be skipped if you dont have time. Mehrangarh fort is worth spending an entire day. Wrap up your day with dinner at the fort view restaurant – an awesome experience (check my review listing down on Chokelao restaurant in Trip advisor).

Jaisalmer – If you have just a night, worth it to stay in the desert – I am happy we did that! While the camel ride is unforgettable and amusing, the sun set and sun rise in the desert among the dunes is surreal. The place is heavily crowded for Sunset and so it is worth it to stay in the desert camp and then catch the sun rise in peace! Gadsisagar lake is beautiful in Jaisalmer and a great chill out place. The havelis and fort are not to be missed. A painting / inscription in this fort traces the entire lineage of Rathore from God Sri Krishna (check my picture below).

Ranthambore - The safari in the jungle is really worth it! The forest here is quite different from the ones in South. It changes colours so beautifully. Of course the star is the TIGER. I am not sure if this is technically correct or valid but looks like spotting is easy here given the sparse flora. And the star takes its own time to saunter in front of you with no care in the world :>

If you have time, do the trip to the fort and temple there (goes through the park) - apparently it is a beautiful trek also. You may even spot the tiger here.

A photo journey here :


Starting with THE TIGER



Did you Know that Marwar art profiles features faces only sideways with almond shaped eyes?



Step well - Panna Meena Ka Kund



What all can you spot in one flower? A snake, Scorpion, Trunk of an elephant ...



Rajasthan is famous for its locks! Beautfiully described in the book Locks, Mahabharatha and Mathematics By V Raghunathan


Jaisalmer - View of the Golden city


Majestic Mehrangarh fort


Lineage of Jaisalmer Kings starting from Lord Sri Krishna


Sunset at the Thar Desert

Some tips:

Take a combined ticket in Jaipur for all attractions (available at major attractions like Jantar Mantar or Amer fort). It works out economical and saves the trouble of standing in queue at each attraction. Also the student rates are very cheap (Rs 15 to Rs 100 for adult) but you need to show the ID Card to avail of the same. So, carry your children’s ID card.

You need cab for local travel as public transport is not an option in Rajasthan cities. Depending on your itinerary, you can either book a cab for the day (if you are hopping from site to site) or you can use services like Ola as you go. Be prepared for delays with cab services like Ola. Many hotels provide cabs but at times these can be overwhelming and drivers would want to have a say in what you should do, where you should eat and what you should buy (all in the spirit of Aditi Devo Bhava!:>). One needs to diplomatically manage them without letting our agenda hijacked.

Shopping: Rajasthan is choc-o-block with handicrafts shops. We stuck mostly to Government run or trust run emporiums for shopping. In Jaipur, you can try the Rajasthan Shilp Gram Udyog or Maharani market – they ship your purchase with 5% insurance cost – my package arrived on time and in good condition. This place also has a facility where you can buy selected jewellery and can return any time to take full refund!! A village run handicraft place near Amer fort is also a good place to shop for paintings and jewellery as gift items (starting from Rs 100 for crystal chains, etc). Inside City palace compound, there are shops run by the Maharani trust which also were good.
Beware that credit cards are NOT accepted in many places , other than Jaipur. There are ATMs in all cities though.

One thing that stood out : The guides

Whether an attraction is maintained by Government or private, Rajasthan leads the way in having very good certified guides who are passionate about what they are talking, and have been trained well. In fact, there are guides who can speak multiple foreign languages also.

Most of the attractions also have audio guides but I would prefer hearing the history of a 500 year fort from a descendent of the king, a hard core Rathore with towering height and twitching moustache. On questioned how there can be so many descendants of the King(s), our guide cheekily replied that other than the legal wives, all the Rajasthan Kings had an overflowing harem.

Reviews on hotels and attractions:
Please see my reviews in Trip advisor here:

http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g304555-d472632-r322366317-Umaid_Bhawan_Heritage_House_Hotel-Jaipur_Rajasthan.html
http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g297671-d447531-r324051172-The_Ranthambhore_Bagh-Sawai_Madhopur_Rajasthan.html
http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g297668-d6163643-r321804344-The_Marwar_Regency_Hotel-Jodhpur_Rajasthan.html
http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g297667-d1976668-r324059512-Hotel_Tokyo_Palace_Jaisalmer-Jaisalmer_Rajasthan.html
http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g297668-d5988266-r321808153-Chokelao_Restaurant_at_Meherangarh_Fort-Jodhpur_Rajasthan.html
http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g304555-d3321015-r321781208-Panna_Meena_ka_Kund-Jaipur_Rajasthan.html
http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g297667-d4697155-r324061570-K_B_cafe-Jaisalmer_Rajasthan.html
http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowUserReviews-g297668-d1195512-r321822985-On_the_Rocks-Jodhpur_Rajasthan.html

Logistics:

If you are planning the trip ahead, make use of trains within the state. There are convenient trains covering most cities at convenient times. We made use of these trains:

• Jaipur to Sawai Madhopur (Ranthambore) – Jaipur Pune SF Express Train no 12940 – Departure 9:30 am from Jaipur reaching Sawai Madhopur at 11:30 am
• Sawai Madhopur to Jodhpur – Train no 12465 - Day train coming from Indore – leaving Sawai Madhopur at 2:30 pm and reaching Jodhpur at 10:30pm
• Jodhpur to Jaisalmer – Train No 14810 – Departure at 11:45 pm and arrival at Jaisalmer at 5 :30 am
• Jaisalmer to Jaipur – Train no 14660 – Depature at 5pm and arrival at Jaipur at 5 am. Our tickers did not get confirmed in this train. So we took a cab from Jaisalmer to Jodhpur (5K in Oct 2015 for Innova). Then a RSRTC Volvo semi sleeper overnight bus from Jodhpur to Jaipur. 

The art of doing nothing!

Contrary to what I presumed, doing nothing did not come easily to me.   I realized this during my job break about 5 years back, when I wanted a career shift.  It was a planned break, with no clear future career plans in place. While I told myself that I will just quit and let things take over, I walked out with a free lancing consultation assignment with that employer! And within one month of quitting, I had signed up for another small but definite commitment to another organization, fortunately in the line I wanted to pursue.  When I was chatting up with a friend during this period, her husband asked me ‘So, what are you doing now that you quit your job?’’  I started rattling off about what all options I have considered, and where I have initiated discussions, etc.  He gave me an odd look and said ‘’Why are you doing all this so soon?  Did you consider doing nothing for some time?’’. Oh, How I wish I had the wisdom to practise it!

While I have no regrets now and all the dots connected well, I would have practised more of ‘doing nothing’ during that period if I had a second chance!  With more maturity and some practised relaxation during 5 continuous years of Yoga, I think I now understand what ‘Doing nothing’ means and more importantly why it is required in every adult’s life.  Come to think of it, we need to introduce this concept to kids also, in this fast paced and highly demanding society.

‘’Doing Nothing’’ is in some sense a state of passive meditation.  You let things ebb over and sort themselves out.  You are in no hurry to accomplish anything but your mind is actively going over options, visiting past, remembering long forgotten dreams and visions, etc. I now believe that just this awareness can open doors that were invisible before.

It is also interesting to note that this state of doing nothing need not really be idle; but it is what Yoga calls as Alert State.  You are observing, open for experiences and importantly, ready to accept and make sense of what is happening to us, around us and inside us. What is happening need not always be action but a stray thought that keeps repeating itself, which was otherwise drowned in the milieu of our day to day life.  A thought that would push us to do something never considered before, to give more purpose to our life or just a simple joyful moment.

Whatever be the reward, the whole experience of ‘Doing nothing’ is bound to be an interesting self experiment, a rite of passage to a ‘wiser and contented Me’!  Though I have now learnt to take short ‘Do nothing’ breaks, I know I will someday plan for my long ‘Doing Nothing’ phase, to prepare for another exciting phase of life. Here is a toast to that!

My epiphanies

I tried to stay away from the jargon epiphany but it does capture what I want to say in this piece and I guess there is a reason Google search on epiphany throws more of mid life related hits! Epiphany comes from the Greek "epiphaneia", meaning "appearance" or "manifestation", and referred to the revelations brought to us by the gods (well, I googled this :>).  In today’s context, it can mean anything from Aha I get it now moments to a self revelation from an entirely new perspective.

Sharing one’s epiphanies is not exactly a literary exercise but an exclusive preview that can open a new portal for somebody else – I am hoping you will now thank me for having shared my epiphanies!

My epiphanies are N.O.T profound – and that is my first epiphany.  It has come from simple day to day forgettable affairs and irritations.  And a bunch of them happening repeatedly can give that 'OMG, if not Aha' moment. It comes from instances of the help not turning up on the day you said you had important chores (because her child was going to be sent out of school if she did not attend at least one PTM), or the home delivery guy who did not turn up after being given directions that would have shamed google maps (he was stuck in the rain in his two wheeler without his rain jacket that he was denied as a contract job worker in his company).

Indira Nooyi nailed it by saying that a woman’s career path and personal path are completely mismatched in mid life.  My epiphany is on a more mundane level – it is that mid life dietary preferences versus kids taste-bud preferences are poles apart, resulting in a permanent meal time displeasure on  the part of at least one of the occupants at the dining table. I am yet to come up with a dish that meets the dietary requirement of the husband and me and the evolving taste buds of the kids, without me going crazy in the kitchen. 

A difficult to accept epiphany for me is the slow but sure reversal of roles between your parents and yourself, as one gets into mid life. It completely changes the dynamics of that relationship. 

And here comes the most practical epiphany I have had – the family is likely to buy the most unwanted / least required item as a gift for your next Birthday, if you continue to make those loose talks about what all your friends get gifted by the husband and family.

And this is the tricky part.  Having or being aware of your epiphanies does not guarantee that you tackle the challenges of life suavely.  I have had my epiphany that ‘’cleaning the room’’ is an abstract concept for kids equivalent to “a worm hole bends space time dimension “ –  It’s like I can google this but what do “I” have to do in cleaning the room?. 

But do I stop telling the kids to ‘make up your bed and clean the room’ in the morning? Well, I try and my best record has been 3 days! 

My first (and last!!) fasting experience

Never could fast – at least not after leaving the hostel! Sort of accepted it and took pride that I am a 6 meal person.  Many of our religions also have an in-built weight loss program camouflaged as spiritual experience but they never appealed to me probably because of the camouflage!  But age catches up and begs for a reprieve; not to mention a 10 year old neighbour who proudly announces his first Ramzan fast.   Well, this trigger worked!.   

Mind you, it was just a fruit fast for me and boy, what an experience it was.  All expected (and more than expected) detox happened.  I also learnt that even if it is a fruit fast, breaking a fast is as important, if not more, than keeping the fast.  I miserably failed on this count and ended up with huge hang over.   Frantically sought google search and discovered that Yes, the hang-over is quite common with symptoms ranging from head ache to nausea to irritation.  But the sites promptly advised it should not put one off from fasting – that it is actually the detox that is continuing.

Well not sure if the first experience put me off or not – But guess it needs a stronger trigger to keep me going than seeing a 10 year old going on a fast and then playing football! 

For those novices like me (who are a rarity I am told!), check out this site:

http://www.allaboutfasting.com/

Is there a place in our society for 80%?

Over the course of last month, news of 10^th and 12^th and entrance exam results are pouring in.  Kudos to the kids and the parents who braved through this season!  It is one thing to accept and reconcile to your own marks and another thing to handle all the curious questions from school friends, their parents and grandparents and your friendly neighbour (myself included).

While I am completely in awe of the kids who scored high and are getting into courses they wanted, my heart goes out to us as a society about what we are doing to the kids who score less than , say 85 or 80% . I hear about schools which deny admission to their own students for 11^th if they fail to score above 90% or so. Most colleges have cut off which only keep increasing year after year. 

I am wondering if as a society we are writing off children who score below 80%.  Or denying them a chance to fight back?  Is it a problem of too less schools / colleges servicing too many students thereby contributing to cut-throat cut-offs?  I am not sure.  I only wish that those kids don’t give up, find their calling and fight to claim their place in the society. 

The ‘Not So’ serene vacation

Planning a family vacation is half the fun but I have realized it is more than half the pain too! Come holidays, a typical dining table conversation goes like this:  Me, the self appointed holiday planner: ’What do you think of these places, A, B and C for vacation?’.  Kid 1 goes ‘Any place but those’. Kid 2 bargains ‘If I AGREE to any of them, can I shop for this, this and that?’. Hello, you don’t have to agree, I rebuke.  The quiet member of the family finally pipes in ‘Awesome, terrific!  Now, if I can get to drive on good roads (!!!), reach within 8 hours, can climb a mountain and generally left undisturbed, particularly during shopping, I am game!  What are we waiting for? Let us go!’

Well, I am already regretting my attempt at democratizing holiday planning.  I announce that enough is enough, it is my decision finally. Why bother, mumbles the family. Don’t forget my shopping, from Kid 2. The husband has a peaceful grin knowing well that all interests would be taken care of!

But How?  It is a serious optimization problem that I have not cracked till now.  Very first challenge is matching school vacation to season and location. We have a school cycle with three annual breaks: the long drawn summer vacation, short October break, and a 10 day Christmas break. A vacation in summer will either fleece your purse with holidays abroad, or toss you into the milling crowds in Ooty or Kullu or make one resign oneself to the air conditioned bedroom with endless movies and ice creams.  Any sensible traveller will stay away from most tourist places in India in December – on top of paying equivalent to dollars and pounds, you are likely to be treated as a second class citizen in our own country.  That leaves the short October break. That is, if you are lucky and have a family that would agree to tag along to the place of your choice!

Even if you have decided to crack the school vacation / season / location conundrum, there are other problems. Flight vs. train vs. driving, sea vs. mountain side, sack out in one place vs. make the best of the vacation, bargain shopping vs. support the local artisans, with friends vs. extended family, and so on and so forth.  I take a bet that at least one member of the family will be sullen with whatever the majority decides. God save you, if it is a grumpy kid!

By the time these issues are taken care of with an iron will, there comes the issue of place of stay.  Like it or not, this can make or break the location.  In my optimization cycle, this is the rate limiting step. Endless cycle of mails and calls, followed by verifications and review reading follows.  So much so that, when I end up there, I can rattle off the names of the house keeping staff, recall the decor in each corner of the room including bathroom, completely robbing me of the delight of discovering the place. Damned if I read the reviews, damned if I don’t! In the meanwhile, the family is critically listing what Amma should have checked before and what Amma missed packing.

Wow, now the vacation begins!  Sadly not.  Getting the husband and kids up and ready in time to stuff themselves with the free breakfast buffet is a dreadful chore!  After all, that is whole deal with choosing the resort, to stuff in breakfast buffet to last till dinner. But what do you with the kid who sleep walks to the restaurant, plays around with a few slices of bread, goes back to the room and announces 10 minutes after the breakfast counter shuts down that she is ravenously hungry and wants to order Pasta, Pizza and whatever else was in that buffet counter! This mismatch of hunger time, food available time and sight-seeing schedule continues throughout the vacation.  Many a times, we have to call it a day by the time we are ready to step out.  ‘’After all, that is what vacation is for” is the wise crack from husband!  True, but one did not have to splurge loads of money to sprawl out in an AC room whole day!

Finally, when we are ready to depart, one moans ‘Oh, it was wonderful; I wish we had stayed for more time!’ Can you hear me screaming “I am sorry, I need to go home and come back minus you all for my real vacation”? 

Will you be the Batman (Bat-woman) for your Gotham?

This is probably something most of us who have moved to a city in another state / country for a living can relate to: after a few years of living, we are all eager to embrace it as our own.  We want to be a part of its showcase events and take pride in contributing to its melting pot culture.  We want to call this ‘my city’.  But to what extent? Take for example Bangalore where I live.

We are appreciative of its openness in accepting people from nook and corner of the country for career or for education, but how many of us take the trouble to fit in, not just with our colleagues or neighbours but to the city and its culture?  Are we ready to accept its many moods, faces and flavours without lamenting or being partial about the pubs and parties? While I am readily signing up for a Pinkathon or a Habba (cultural fest) or an art session, where am I when there is a ward meeting? Where am I when there is a protest calling for safe planning for pedestrians, after a ghostly accident killed people on the ‘pride of the city’ signal free airport corridor?   

I take pride in Bangalore’s codes, pubs, parties and malls, but who owns its traffic mess, garbage mess and water shortage? Ah, that is bad planning and corrupt administration. So, are we waiting for Batman to take over and get us out of the mess?  Well folks, its you and me and our neighbour who is the batman and bat woman for our Gotham! 

Dunking in Kaveri

Dunking in Kaveri

Is gratification inversely related to expectation?

What I mean is ‘Does it give you more pleasure if you accomplished something that was not mandatory / routine for you to do?'  Let me explain.

An incident that fortified this view was to do with some volunteering work I and my husband are involved in – on different causes and in different environments.  In the last few weeks, our  conversations revolve a lot around this and I somehow get a feeling that we both will put this experience in the category of most rewarding things in our life.  The joy is different and the satisfaction is more internal. Not much would be amiss in the world around us if we were not involved in this exercise and nobody would have missed us or in other words, there was no expectation.  But it made a difference to us and brought huge self gratification. This is probably the reason why we see lot of volunteering these days, many of them anonymous too.  It is a great trend and if this kind of gratification is a reason for this, I am not complaining!  

I had another experience with ‘low expectation – high gratification’ too. A few months back one of my articles got published in a newspaper.  While I rejoiced a lot and was gratified, I did not expect anything more to come out of it.  Then I received a payment for the article – not substantial but a round figure!  Ah, I was bowled over so much so that my husband was puzzled with my repeated reference to it, and even mentioned that I have not bothered so much with my salaries and increments and bonuses in my career! But it was different, you see.  I did something out of my way – I am not a journalist, am not a writer and I got rewarded materially for it too.  My expectation was zero and my gratification was very high when I was rewarded.

Which prompts me to say ít is more gratifying to do things that are not expected’ and ‘even more gratifying to be rewarded when one does not expect it at all’.