Planning a family vacation is
half the fun but I have realized it is more than half the pain too! Come
holidays, a typical dining table conversation goes like this: Me, the self appointed holiday planner: ’What
do you think of these places, A, B and C for vacation?’. Kid 1 goes ‘Any place but those’. Kid 2
bargains ‘If I AGREE to any of them, can I shop for this, this and that?’.
Hello, you don’t have to agree, I rebuke.
The quiet member of the family finally pipes in ‘Awesome, terrific! Now, if I can get to drive on good roads
(!!!), reach within 8 hours, can climb a mountain and generally left
undisturbed, particularly during shopping, I am game! What are we waiting for? Let us go!’
Well, I am already regretting my attempt
at democratizing holiday planning. I
announce that enough is enough, it is my decision finally. Why bother, mumbles
the family. Don’t forget my shopping, from Kid 2. The husband has a peaceful
grin knowing well that all interests would be taken care of!
But How? It is a serious optimization problem that I
have not cracked till now. Very first
challenge is matching school vacation to season and location. We have a school
cycle with three annual breaks: the long drawn summer vacation, short October
break, and a 10 day Christmas break. A vacation in summer will either fleece
your purse with holidays abroad, or toss you into the milling crowds in Ooty or
Kullu or make one resign oneself to the air conditioned bedroom with endless
movies and ice creams. Any sensible
traveller will stay away from most tourist places in India in December – on top
of paying equivalent to dollars and pounds, you are likely to be treated as a
second class citizen in our own country.
That leaves the short October break. That is, if you are lucky and have
a family that would agree to tag along to the place of your choice!
Even if you have decided to crack
the school vacation / season / location conundrum, there are other problems.
Flight vs. train vs. driving, sea vs. mountain side, sack out in one place vs.
make the best of the vacation, bargain shopping vs. support the local artisans,
with friends vs. extended family, and so on and so forth. I take a bet that at least one member of the
family will be sullen with whatever the majority decides. God save you, if it
is a grumpy kid!
By the time these issues are
taken care of with an iron will, there comes the issue of place of stay. Like it or not, this can make or break the
location. In my optimization cycle, this
is the rate limiting step. Endless cycle of mails and calls, followed by
verifications and review reading follows.
So much so that, when I end up there, I can rattle off the names of the
house keeping staff, recall the decor in each corner of the room including
bathroom, completely robbing me of the delight of discovering the place. Damned
if I read the reviews, damned if I don’t! In the meanwhile, the family is critically
listing what Amma should have checked before and what Amma missed packing.
Wow, now the vacation begins! Sadly not.
Getting the husband and kids up and ready in time to stuff themselves
with the free breakfast buffet is a dreadful chore! After all, that is whole deal with choosing
the resort, to stuff in breakfast buffet to last till dinner. But what do you
with the kid who sleep walks to the restaurant, plays around with a few slices
of bread, goes back to the room and announces 10 minutes after the breakfast
counter shuts down that she is ravenously hungry and wants to order Pasta,
Pizza and whatever else was in that buffet counter! This mismatch of hunger
time, food available time and sight-seeing schedule continues throughout the
vacation. Many a times, we have to call
it a day by the time we are ready to step out.
‘’After all, that is what vacation is for” is the wise crack from
husband! True, but one did not have to
splurge loads of money to sprawl out in an AC room whole day!
Finally, when we are ready to
depart, one moans ‘Oh, it was wonderful; I wish we had stayed for more time!’
Can you hear me screaming “I am sorry, I need to go home and come back minus
you all for my real vacation”?
